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THANK YOU! for your interest in this subject matter and in my story. INTENT: #support for the #significant_others of #transsexuals and #transgender, to #advocate the necessity of being your authentic self, and to share information with others. By this, I hope to support your own journey, or add to your understanding of the journey of someone you know. ABOUT ME: A 45 year old #heterosexual woman, divorced w/children, I met Jack and fell in love. Six years into our relationship, he confided his secret desire--Jack wanted to be a woman. Before his disclosure, I had no reason to suspect his interest. It was a shocking surprise! It was the decade of the 1990's. Little information was available to help ME understand 'Why' and 'What next". Not only was Jack in transition, but by virtue of the circumstance, so was I. Guided by my heart, I began a journey of my own. Stepping out of my comfort zone I challenged my attitudes and belief systems, as well as, my own sexual orientation to help me decide 'Do I stay, or do I go"?

Disclaimer Note to Information and Video Links

Informational links and videos for chosen topics are provided based on conversations and experiences I shared with J and the challenges that we faced. If the information provided helps just one person who views, it was worth my posting it.

Not everyone's need, or experience, will be the same as ours was.

By your View and your click on a particular post, I am able to know which topics are of most interest to the reader and will make sure I include responses to your interest within my book.

Thank you for your support!

Monday, January 27, 2014

J comes out to me that he is TS - M>F - My questions and his answers.

My reaction to learning J's desire to transition M2F. My questions,J's responses:

"What?" I scream the word. J: A look of apprehension and sadness.

Then came, a flurry of questions

D: "Are you gay?" J: " No."

D: "Have you had sex with men?" J: A look of unease.

D: "Have you told anyone else?" J: A look of unease.

D: "What does this mean?" J: A look of anger at my questions.

D: "Are you interested in men?" J: "No!" he begins to pace.

D: "Why are you with ME?" J: No answer.

D: "You have lied to me all of this time?" J: "I didn't mean to."

D: "Does anyone else know?" J: Head nods 'yes'.

D: "Do you know how this makes me feel?" J: A look of exasperation.

D: "Have you gone out in public dressed as female? Where?" J: Head shake, 'yes', "private events".

Then, J tore the wig from his head, and threw the 3 inch heels across the room, saying...."You should have known!"

When I look back at that evening, when J told me, and remember the confusion I felt, as my mind went in a shocked, whirlpool spin. Coulda, shoulda, --- but I had no clue!

If J gave any words of reassurance, I didn't hear them. When I look back, I only remember his anger at my questions and non-acceptance. I realized later, that telling me was the hardest thing he had ever had to do.

I cried until there were no tears left -- Then, I decided I had to try to understand what it was he was saying. What did this mean? Why did he want to do this? Ultimately, I needed to know where I stood in it all. Did I mean anything to him? What did this mean to our relationship? Could I stay? Should I stay? I know many women would have left. I felt our relationship was too important to give up that easy.

I embarked on my own journey and asked questions that ultimately only I could answer.

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