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THANK YOU! for your interest in this subject matter and in my story. INTENT: #support for the #significant_others of #transsexuals and #transgender, to #advocate the necessity of being your authentic self, and to share information with others. By this, I hope to support your own journey, or add to your understanding of the journey of someone you know. ABOUT ME: A 45 year old #heterosexual woman, divorced w/children, I met Jack and fell in love. Six years into our relationship, he confided his secret desire--Jack wanted to be a woman. Before his disclosure, I had no reason to suspect his interest. It was a shocking surprise! It was the decade of the 1990's. Little information was available to help ME understand 'Why' and 'What next". Not only was Jack in transition, but by virtue of the circumstance, so was I. Guided by my heart, I began a journey of my own. Stepping out of my comfort zone I challenged my attitudes and belief systems, as well as, my own sexual orientation to help me decide 'Do I stay, or do I go"?

Disclaimer Note to Information and Video Links

Informational links and videos for chosen topics are provided based on conversations and experiences I shared with J and the challenges that we faced. If the information provided helps just one person who views, it was worth my posting it.

Not everyone's need, or experience, will be the same as ours was.

By your View and your click on a particular post, I am able to know which topics are of most interest to the reader and will make sure I include responses to your interest within my book.

Thank you for your support!

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Family or Friend of #Trans - Were you confused, fearful, or angry when he or, she said "I am transsexual?

Gender variance encompasses many facets along the gender identity spectrum, often very individual--there are many "shades of gray". What seems not in question, is that the person who experiences it, though sure internally of who they are, are often confused and fearful when it comes to expressing their authentic self, and showing their need for self-identity. "Coming out" brings its own confusion and fear. Fear of rejection, fear for safety, adjustment anxiety, and situation depression, and no doubt other concerns that someone such as myself can only guess at. I am not the person faced with this internal need to change. I am the observer, the onlooker, the co-worker, the best friend, the partner, the wife, the son or daughter, the cousin, aunt or uncle...perhaps you are "the last to know."

Your loved one has taken a leap of faith by coming out to you. You may wish they had shared the information with you sooner. Or, you may wish they had never told you. But now, knowing, you may be confused, fearful for what it means for them, fearful for what it means to your relationship with them, fearful of society's view, and it goes on and on. In fact, you are faced with a personal perceptual adjustment, a mind over matter, sky is green, grass is blue kind of mental adjustment. you are finding that some things are not as they have can shake us to our foundation.

Whether M2F, F2M, or any of the gender non-conforming variances that occur, I believe individuals deserve support for what it means to be their authentic self. Understanding and acceptance comes with education and/or experience. What I have discovered on my own journey and in speaking to others, is that those of us that are confronted by our loved ones coming out, are experiencing feelings that are similar, and sharing those thoughts and feelings helps. You can contact me by e-mail if you are struggling with feelings you don't know how to handle or are afraid to share. I am here to support you if I can.

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